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Sleep

2008-07-02T20:26:00.000-07:00

wish i didn't have to sleep...

easiest thing to blog abt,

2008-06-02T02:20:00.000-07:00

1)LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER: Chronicles of Narnia Price Caspian, pretty engrossing, forgettable, movie made for the popcorn generation. Since i havnt read the book, the movie was quite impressive.with all the magic n animals n the usual narnic stuff..
2)WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?: For whom the bell tolls by Hemingway. My second Hemingway after Old Man and the Sea. looking forward to a depressing and sad time.
3)FAVORITE BOARD GAME? : As a kid, i never used to play board games. Now I play Monopoly.
4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? : Nothing really, Depending on my mood I read everything I can put my hands on, or i won't read at all. Have been reading Maxim on and off cuz my friend buys it.. Never really picked up the habit of reading magazines. I think I hate most of the news-magazines thats around.
5. FAVORITE SMELLS? : I like the smell of wheat mixed with Jaggery, the smell of soil when the first rain falls, I can't think of anythin else.
6. FAVORITE SOUND? : Pitter patter of rain, wind chimes far off, wide variety of Music from Bob Marley to Pink Floyd to coldplay to Ben Kweller..
7. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? : when i do something stupid, which causes a lot of harm.
8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE?: I don't think. I generally look at the clock/mobile and hope i still have a cigarette around.
9. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE? : Nothing. The only fast food i indulge is in Cheese Burst pizza from dominos. Other than that its the cafeteria in my office and the umpteen mallu bakeries around my house for Puffs n tea n fag.
10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? : I don't think I'l have one. actually i don't want one.
11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I’D...? : buy a resort on a Hill-station with a huge plantation.
12. DO YOU DRIVE FAST? : Fast? No. Careless? yes!
13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? : are u kiddin me?
14. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY? – Totally awesome!!!
15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? – Hopefully I'll have one in the future.
16. FAVORITE DRINK? : Cold beer. Abscinth (even though i'd it only once).
17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD..” – study :P... probably read more, do everything i do perfectly.
18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI? : Except for some variety of grass, i shun all other green leafy vegetables..
19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE? : Blue. Azra i believe its called in Arabic. Its been a whim of mine for a long time..
20. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN : Thrissur, Bombay, Palakkad, Calicut, Trivandrum, Cochin, Kollam, Kasargod, Chennai, Delhi, Bhopal, Panaji, etc??? It includes overnight stays too!!!
21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? : f1, f1, f1 and wait more f1? Hate cricket, soccer is watchable, tennis occasionally.
22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU : even though i've studied with her for 4 years, I don really know her. shes good at whatever she does(), Practical, pragmatic, she reads a lot, and is sensible?.. im not sure if its a gr8 thing though..
23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? : the floor? My bed is on the floor...
24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN? : totally... but this time hopefully i'l do things differently!!!
25. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL? : neither... i mean i can be either.. as the need occurs.
26. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP? :neither if i can help it. Not a big fan of eggs...
27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX? : Anyplace as long as Im not in my senses..
28. FAVORITE PIE?: Apple Pie... I don have any other if i can help it.
29. FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? : hate ice-creams. I mean i'd prefer anythin else to ice-creams..
30. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU TAGGED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST? : not gonna tag anybody....:D

Capitalist economy n autodrivers

2008-04-22T06:22:00.000-07:00

I seriously don't know whats the big deal about the auto drivers cheating everybody. Profit is the primary motive of any business venture. So if any sundry businessman can exploit you for his/her profit, why not an auto guy. You need a service. And the auto-guy is providing the service. You have a choice - take the rick or take any other mode of transportation. If you are taking the rick then you'll have to pay what the auto-driver asks for. Cuz the auto is his property. He has a virtual monopoly over the rick.. So he can ask for whatever he wants. And you can accept it or try maybe a bus or something. Of course there are govt regulations, but when half the ppl are breaking the laws one way or another, when the big corporations are using every loophole to maximise their profit, why blame just the auto-driver?
And more than that, you have an option to complain against the auto-driver. How many of us actually do that?
Most of us don't have any moral rights to whine n crib against the auto-drivers.
Its not like I havnt had my share of tiffs with the auto-drivers, but then if i need the auto that badly i don't mind paying whatever he asks for.

Scientist Part 1

2008-01-23T21:37:00.000-08:00

The scientist considered his research to be of paramount importance.His daily schedule went something like research, research, research,study, understand, and finally eat and sleep if he finds time.He was working day in and day out. His life revolved around his lab.Nobody ever knew of the Scientist outside the lab. He was what he was.His research defined him. Outside of his work he was nothing. But there was no reason why he should be associated with anything other than his experiments and labs.

As time went by the scientist forgot about himself. He lost touch with others and generally avoided everybody. He had minimal contact with the outside world.

And then came the huge breakthrough. He published his findings.Awards and accolades came searching for him. Money and fame had found their new abode.

And then he finally took a break. He left the lab and he reached a hill station. Watching the serene calm snow capped mountains he thought about himself. He realized he had no clue who he was. A sudden bout of hopelessness hit him. He wondered if he did right by doing what he did.

He didn’t have any answers. He asked himself if it was really worth it. He wondered what made the life worth living. He started walking. No one ever heard of him again. Search parties found a well preserved albeit frozen human body after some days.

trilogy based on nietzche:Part 3: Death of Self

2008-01-21T20:28:00.000-08:00

Death of Self
He was the dude everyone wanted to be.
He was cool, handsome, witty and smart.
He had enough intelligence to pass the exams.
Enough money to do whatever he wanted to.
But he was never like that. He had started play acting when he was small. Whatever that others saw and admired in him was just a facade. Till the time he realized that he didn't know the empty shell that he had become. He didn't recognize the himself. His likes and dislikes were totally alien to him.
He realized the truth at last.
The truth that being yourself was never going to take him anywhere in his quest for the self.
He had two options. He could still be himself and make himself believe that he is having a great time in his life and that he doesn't care about the ultimate truth. Or he could go back and be who he was and try understand life, his dreams and the Truth.
He decided to play act.
His conscious mind mourned its untimely death.
Another plastic figure was at display.

trilogy based on nietzche:Part 2: Yet Another Unexplained Suicide

2008-01-21T20:27:00.000-08:00

Yet Another Unexplained Suicide
When he was a kid he always wanted to be a pilot. His parents were totally supportive.
He studied hard. Maintained his body well. It was like his sole purpose in his life was to be a pilot.
He finished his final school year with good marks. His parents were rich enough to send him to a flying school.
Finally his dream was going to be fulfilled. He was a natural at the flying school. His flying instructors were amazed at his dedication and skills.
He soon graduated the flying school with flying colors, literally.
He was recruited by one of the biggest Airlines in the world with a fat paycheck.
The day he was supposed to join and start flying for a career, he realized the truth.
The truth that nothing is permanent. What he is striving for doesn't really matter.
He is just another insignificant being in yet another insignificant world.
He realized whatever he was trying to prove was proved and that its not much, that its not a big deal.
He quit the job and commited suicide.
The newspapers hailed it as yet another unexplained suicide.

trilogy based on nietzche:Part 1: Death of Hope

2008-01-21T20:25:00.000-08:00

Death of Hope
He had wanted to do a lot of great things in his life.
He always used to think he was alive and kicking for a reason. He knew that the mundane and everyday things were not for him. He was doing it till he does his GREAT thing. He always fantasized the time when he would be famous and everyone will look upto him.
He finally he realized the truth.
The truth that whatever he had always believed in was pure fantasy. Theres nothing important about his life. The people he thought were his ideals had grave faults that they used to hide or which he was too unwilling to believe existed when he was a believer.
Anyways he continued living. Without hope, without anything to look forward to, without a will to commit suicide.
There was nobody to mourn him except his self adorned self pity at the death of his Hope.

I QUIT!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-23T03:16:00.000-08:00

nop
didn quit smokin
didn quit drinkin....
didn even stop playin soccer for S.M.O Cup
no its not ogling at the fairer sex with huge mammarian glands...

i jus stopped taking polythene covers from shop... i've realized i don really need them... i can as well carry them in my hands... or in my bag or watever...
fact is im quite happy doin it...
nop im not goin 2 preach..
and no i don care abt the revolution...
im happy doin it and i don friggin care abt anythin else!!!!

how i realized i created a mf

2007-10-26T23:50:00.000-07:00

when somethin u create have fucks with u back in the place where it hurts, thats when u realize u've created a mf....
when the answers for the question why when how etc remains elusive, when the questions seem pointless....
and when the only option left is to create the whole thing from scratch (again...)..
and the hope is wat drives u on... hope that it won't fuck me again....

better start coding again.....

lifes truth part 1

2007-08-21T03:21:00.001-07:00

i believe when a man is doing something he is enjoying, he is at his creative best. when the work becomes boring or routine, that is when he starts faltering. when passion is gone, creativity leaves soon..

one reason, the indian bands not coming up in a big way. Jamming day in and day out, might've made it routine for them. and of course the pressure, would've made them come out with songs which are not perfect...

I think Dave Gilmour is one person for who the passion of rocking never left.. all his songs are always at its best...perfect... flawless..

rambling on scrambled eggs!!!

2007-08-07T05:34:00.000-07:00

this is just a gamble
i don think it needs a preamble
i think its pointless to scramble
if ur name aint campbell...

after eating a scrambled egg from one of the 5 star thattukadas along the outer ring road, in a totally inebriated state!!!

the long historic relationship between f1 drivers and kerala

2007-07-23T05:51:00.000-07:00

location: a really narrow winding road somewhere between kodungalloor and ernakulam, with heavy traffic (including pandi lorries, completely idiotic auto drivers and the sundry folks of ker a la)
inside: a bus, actually a kodungalloor ernakulam limited stop bus...
driver: just another bus driver in kerala (read as complete maniac, who uses brakes only in the last possible moment and who never uses his brains at all, he goes blastin his horn through the road that can hardly manage a bus in the maximum possible speed, rattling through the pot holes (not that pot u sicko..) and scaring everything from crows to the man living in attapadi forest some 200km away...)
speed: averagin somewhere near 100 km/h...
acceleration: 0 to 100km in 8.734 secs... and from 100 to full stop in 8.734 micro-seconds....

thought: these guys should try in f1.. it should be a cakewalk for them.. wide roads..no incoming traffic... and no speed-limits or speed breakers or stupid pedestrians or pandi lorries.. (G-force huh??big deal!!)

after-thought: just realized that the ex-f1 drivers come 2 kerala to become bus drivers.. it seems theres nothing more challenging for them...

news: michael schumacher in the thrissur-palakkad bus route sighted.. he changed his name to makkal chaami...(steve slater, u listenin??)

biaaaatch!!!!

2007-07-16T02:53:00.001-07:00

bow wow wow
woof woof..
wow bow bow wow..
woof woof...
bow wow...
woof woof...

(as told by a bitch 2 another, produced faithfully with the written consent of the bitches)

note: this is dedicated to all the bitches in the world...
if u understood wat im tryin2 convey above, u r a bitch!!!!

Legend of LOR

2007-07-02T23:03:00.000-07:00

Me: Do u know where the Baskin- Robbins is here???
The Hot Chick: ahhhhh...hmmmm... im not quite sure.. just go straight and look.
(then to the hot chick with her) dya know if theres any baskin robbins around???
The Hot Chick #2: Nop..not that i know of...
The Hot Chick #1:Sorry dude.. i don think theres any near by...
Me: oh..ok... U know the Legends of Rock Pub here??? you know the place they call LOR..
The Hot Chick #1: Oh LOR.... its just down the road...about 50 mts from here...on the left side.
The Hot Chick #2: Yeah theres a Pizza Hut, just besides it.....
Me(to myself): welcome to bangalore!!!!

Aeroplane viewing (for a mallu)!!!

2007-07-02T07:34:00.000-07:00

Indians are an inquisitive lot... I mean with the whole crap of superstitions and the numerologists and astrological consultants and the reply with BHK (I’m guessing its Biodata Horoscope Kundili???) in matrimonial columns, one would think Indians would be the last lot to be really inquisitive of the going-ons in the major aerospace company under the Ministry of Defence headquartered in Bangalore..

But if you've ever had a chance to go from Domlur to Marathahalli(in Bangalore) u'd see the large open space with huge walls and more importantly the people on top of the trees and trying to peek into the Airfield where the most modern aircrafts manufactured/developed in India is tested successfully(??? (touch wood...(great concept touch wood!!more on it later!!!)))...(for people who haven't had a chance to read Bangalore for dummies, im talking about the test airfield of HAL)

First time i saw this i was intrigued... i thot some top of the world, cutting edge technology was going to be unveiled that day... but after goin thru that road considerable number of times and going thru the TOI to know the minutest details of new technologies emerging from HAL, i finally realized(i can hear a collective 'duhhhhhhhhhh....!!!') that its just a bunch of absolutely jobless people, hoping to see somethin interestin for the day...

i can imagine the conversations goin on between people watchin the airfield everyday..for simplicity's sake we'll call them Happy Jack and Jack Frost.

Happy Jack: Dude.... i saw the new AV320 with vertical stabilizer, a stabilator and a small fin on the bottom of the tail to improve yaw control.

Jack Frost:thats nothin dude.. yesterday there was the new XRC12F-FLT with UVD-2M system aboard the aircraft with a Pitot tube situated on the top of the air intake... and guess what it has a semi-monocoque with an elliptical profile with a maximum width of 1,24m which is 3 staged and retracts itself between mach 1.5 and 3!!

Happy Jack: wow dude thats really somethin... but it will never reach the QCF-Flight Trainer e AN/APG-66H, an advanced version of the F-16A with the APG-66 radar with multimode systems. it even had the AIM-9 Sidewinder and AGM-65 Maverick. the LAU-5003B/A CRV-7 rocket launchers was a beauty and they even did some test-firing...

Jack Frost: whoa.. i swear thats just awesome...

Happy Jack: So what time tomorrow??

Jack Frost: Have an interview at 11:30...so will be there till 11:15 and will be back by 12:45 to watch the launch of BAe Systems Hawk Mk 132 Advanced Jet Trainer.. man thats gonna be a stunner...

Happy Jack: but you'll miss the Aerospatiale Alouette III testing man.. i've been waitin for it since ages....

........

anyways once my friend from the great malluland aka Kerala came to visit me err the various pubbin shopping and ogling hotspots of bangalore...

One thing about mallus aka Keralites: they are never surprised... even if u tell them about the Brachiosaurus brancai u saw the other day roaming in the streets of Timbuktu, he'll tell you abt the Amphicoelias fragillimus he saw in Wayanad eating a Carcharodontosaurus and of course it was using a fork and a knife....

the point is u can never get an upperhand when a mallu is around.. a mallu has the inborn instinctive reaction at being the most knowledgeable and the most informed person in the world... if u ever see a mallu admittin to being surprised either he is not a complete mallu, or he is wasted or he must've just read my experiments with truth (not mine, but the nation's fathers...)

So i had the misfortune to take him via the famed airport road... and he saw the people on trees trying to catch a glimpse of india's latest Jet trainer aircrafts... I thot he would be impressed atleast now...(in the company of a fellow mallu he can be true to himself...(or so i thought))..seeing him sit quietly, i told him about the people in bangalore, and how technologically conscious they are and how that trait seems to be missin in most of the keralites...

My Mallu Friend(who we will call Kuttapan to hide his identity): This happens everywhere in Kerala... In fact it happens in my street also..

I was dumbstruck (another instance of a mallu being surprised..but im with a mallu..)...there being no particularly heavy industries in kerala, and at that a modern aircraft design lab in kerala...and that too in his street...i asked him to elaborate...

Kuttapan: Yeah man... it does happen in lots of places.. U see lots of people on trees, hanging on cutting edges(literally!!!)

Me: but what are they tryin to see????

Kuttapan: Well duhhh.... the bathrooms don't have a roof in most of the places!!!!

realization struck.... peace!!!!!

(after-conversations dealin with the intimate anatomy of thankamma and Januechi not fit to print here...)

Note: People thinkin of going to kerala for the above mentioned activity must realize the grave risks and body injury it might lead to.. Im not responsible for any unfortunate incidents that might come your way by doin it... and if u desperately wanna do it, take some training from a mallu instructor before u venture forth!!!!

Thought: Sky roofed bathrooms are not quite so common nowadays... and thangamma and januechi are far from a feast for the eyes.. (as anyone who has ever watched a mallu porn movie shud be knowin!!!)

well well..the chain mails are catchin up in blogs too......

2007-06-28T05:36:00.000-07:00

i really hate chain mails... (that could be a random fact!!!!) confused...
well here it goes...
nishka tagged me... i was goin to delete the mail with a great contempt and indignation (on ppl who've nothin else to do...(no offense nishka!!), and the lifelessness of ppl who join every other social networkin site (obviously with an intention of gettin free action or hittin on hot chicks... (which very rarely happens btw... wid my vast orkuttin n limited facebook experinces, females attracted to me online (there were a few... but too few!!!) are either downright ugly..or married and happily settled...)..man these braces are confusin...)...(i jus luv 'em (another random fact!!!)))....when i thot i'l read wats in it...(cuz i think i'd joined tagged coupla days ago!!!!(obviously under a fake name!!))

so funda abt this tagged is i gotta give 8 random facts about me... and then i gotta tag 8 ppl.. don ask me y??? cuz i never askd y... and i don think thats even a relevant question...

i've tried keepin out the obvious and known facts abt me...
8 random things about me???
-i hate crapping..
-i luv playin snakes in my mobile when im crappin...
-i used 2 luv bsb,westlife and other boybands when i was in school...i used2 think they were the coolest..
-im kinda patriotic.. but wont move my ass for it if i can help it...
-i hate my mobile.. as in i hate mobiles!!! wish they were never invented... but they are useful for random fact#2....
-i hate thinkin ahead... i jus luv trial and error method.. thats y i suck at most of the tactics and strategy games.... like chess, aoe (i so suck at them i don even know if its a strategy game...(what a tragedy...:D) ... the fact that i crack lottsa pjs is not a secret.. anyways not among my well-wishers...(as u know well wishers always wish for me when they see a wishin well...))
-i get bored real easily, very fast and actually speakin im bored of this right now!!!except books, movies, porn n things like that nothin can hold my attention for more than the smallest possible amount of time!!!
-i luv beaches... wud jus love to laze around a beach my whole life... but it shd b a clean beach... not like kovalam n calicut... a virgin beach, where no friggin tourist have ever set his foot on.... i've seen one place like that n i'm not goin 2 reveal where it is for a million dollars... (if anyones willin 2 gimme million dollars do drop a mail..we can come 2 a suitable arrangement....)

thats 8??? (did i mention the fact that im good at maths??? well no im not...)
phew... thank gawd its over!!!:D

i'm taggin bullshee, sherry, sajid bhai, mathai, raghav, sarat, anphy, myth-un etc etc....hope u guys continue this fine tradition... else u will remain virgin for like forever... and u will be made to watch the imdb bottom 100 ....i've seen coupla them...i swear on my honor they suck...

peace god bless...
ramen...

thought: don really wanna give a thought n afterthoughts to this one...
and im not goin to do that...

Enter the Battle Zone - 07

2007-06-24T05:14:00.000-07:00

I entered the battle zone 07... i'd this mental picture of blood thirsty soldiers and horribly mutated alienic creatures all battling for the ultimate peace on earth... i'd this mental picture of broken homes, burnt countryside, raped females...i'd a mental picture of twisted metals, broken down cars, and junkyards, graveyards and scotlandyards....
anyways Enter the battle zone 07 was a rock concert for promoting road safety... they had posters like Dying to take a call???? No Mobiles while on an automobile.. and use ur head..wear helmet and think and drive and dont drink and drive and stuff like that...
anyways the concert was kickass...i saw the 1st three bands.. the music was gettin progressively better...
Zion came first... we were sittin on chairs and tappin our feet to their music..... the music was great.. really heavy... and great artists.. i mean all of them were good...
anyways the problem with the band was they were either shy or had like a huge stage fright or the front man wasn comfortable with english... he made lottsa mistake in his vain attempt at interacting with the audience... they covered creeds what if and
it was awesome!!!!if i'd been their manager i'd've asked the front man to take some communications lesson...
the next band was pushing ten... they were better than zion.. had a great presence.. the guitarist was brilliant... they were mostly into funk but surprised me by covering Cocaine.. (as the vocalist said even though they were against drugs n stuff like that!!!!:P)
the last band i saw, SLAIN was kick-ass of first order!!! with 3 guitarists (includin the bass) and the vocalists doublin up as pianist, the show was too good.. the neck was beatin to the bass...they didn do any cover but the stuff they did was nice...
the next band fahrenheit was just a regular band.. not somethin extraordinary like the previous 3 bands...anyways didn hear muhc of them...they covered deep purple well though!!!

anyways on the way back from the drive safely concept concert, my frnds had a drag race (a swift with 5 ppl vs an indica with 2 ppl.. as my frnd said winnin doesn depend on the car..it depends on the driver... )which we won!!!:D
we reachd home without any accidents and after breakin almost all the rules under ths sun while drivin
drunken drivin: check
speakin on the mob while drivin:check
goin in the opposite direction in one ways: check
overspeedin: check
running thru red lights:check
illegal racing:check
showin middle finger to the car behind us(we were hopin its our frnds car..cant be sure though):check

(thank heavens he had a dl...:P)

Thought : u can have a great time for a concert even if u aint high if the music is good...but u wud end up kickin urself...

afterthought: the battlezone never looks like a battlezone...

second afterthought: shud learn french from alliance francaise bangalore....

again another thought: shd start a band... it really does make one popular!!!!

last thought: with a name like enter the battlezone a road safety campaign is never goin 2 work.. and anyways ppl don change after readin posters....

internal affairs of a traffic cop changin the world in front of me!!!!

2007-06-24T01:13:00.000-07:00

Morning… I reached the Arakere Gate bus stop.. The beautiful countryside, with the beautiful flowing river, the green hillside,the breathtaking beauty and the lovely people...wat a perfect sight to greet u on a sunday mornin..
what am I talking about… it’s a sadass bangalore suburb with a sewer drainage, a mountain of refuse and well err beautiful people??

Wearing helmet is compulsory in bangalore (just for two wheeler drivers obviously!!!) and the day that rule was passed good times for traffic cops, helmet manufacturers and people like me who jus love to watch the fun., began!!!!

Today there were 3 traffic cops, waiting for the fresh catch of the day… I got down from the bus and instead of going through the short cut right in front of me, I went near the traffic cops to watch the fun…

There was one cop who was the boss..like the entire boss species (no offense to bachelor of social service bosses) he was doin absolutely nothin other than lookin at the whole spectacle with a disinterested gaze of a moron dumped when the last spaceship crashed from mars... He just stands behind his bike and signs the documents made by the other cops.
Other 2 cops were the hard, diligent and sincere workers, they run around trying to
catch anybody whose head is uncovered...
The poor bikers without a helmet were sticking to extreme right of the road.. but our hard workin diligent cops run thru the road avoidin the heavy incomin traffic (thank gawd these guys havnt heard of pandi lorries...) stand right in front of the biker with an outstretched hands and making the biker smell his armpit and make him disgusted wid himself and the life ands compellin him to stop and park his bike near the BOSS... Boss will look at him critically and do the complex calculus calculations and finally make up his mind on the round figure that the man shud part wid.... i saw values ranging from 100 to the poor guy in a TVS Luna and one dude partin with 500 bucks for comin in karizma... after watchin this spectacle for sometime i moved on...
I see one old guy comin in his scooter (without a helmet..)...real slowly on the left side...an easy target for the govt (or the cops) to fill its coffers... i stretched my hands and pointin my forefinger to my head shouted helmet checkin.. the guy was so startled for an instant that i thot he'll just crash on me in his ancient mode of transport... but he composed himself... stopped his sccoter and took a u-turn from the same side and went in the oppsoite direction towards the oncomin traffic... thats the last i heard of him.....
while i was watchin the guy in scooter leave there were lottsa ppl goin without helmets..fast and on the right side... there was one small guy in a bike who is too small to have a license itself, ridin without a helmet..

so i went back to see wat unfolds next... wonders of wonders.. the cops are busy writin tickets and they are not bothered with wats happenin on the road... and the whole bunch left without the cops even glancing at them... i was upset at this turn of events... so waited till the cops squeezed pennies from everyone they'd caught till then, said goodbye and sent them scurryin and then only turned their attention to the road...

One guy on his bike saw the cop and hid behind a jeep... the clever cop just stopped the jeep and this guy is like yea i was comin 2 see u to the cop!!!!

these hardworkin dedicated sincere cops were so immersed in blockin poor helmetless two wheeler drivers that they didn notice ppl goin in triples!!!

i think i was standin suspiciously watchin the whole proceedings becuz one of the cops started pointin at my direction and started talkin somethin 2 his colleague...
Cop1: that guy is standin there watchin us for a long time... wat dya think are his intentions???
Cop2: must be searchin for writin somethin in his blog....
Cop1: blog???are u crazy??? he looks all dashing and mysterious...do u think we shd arrest him???
Cop2: ooooh..now i remember... i think he was the guy who was havin sex with my wife the other day...lets ask BOSS....
Cop2 to BOSS: Boss was he the guy havin sex with my wife the other day??
BOSS: hehehehe..i fooled u...it was me not him!!!!
Cop2: Bastard.....(and shoots him)
Cop1: bastard....(and shoots cop2)
and then blows away his own sweet brains..and my sweet lord, instead of the white n grey brain, theres a green coloured bullshit smellin thing comin from his brain!!!!:O
needless to say i was quite surprised...
(I learned later that the Cop2 and BOSS were attracted towards each other the brokeback mountain way and the sudden death of prince of his dreams brought out an emotional outburst from Cop2 which ended with 2 lives... And BOSS was jus jokin when he said he was havin sex with Cop1's wife... and the part where i'd sex with the cop's wife..keep guessin)

thought: if u r drivin a bike without helmets and u see a traffic cop catchin bikers without helmets, then stop till the cops have caught ahndful and then go as if everythings normal..and don look at the cops...

afterthought: if u r drivin a bike without helmets and u don see traffic cop catchin bikers without helmets, then u r goin really fast...slow down...

after afterthought: if u r drivin a bike without helmets and u don see traffic cop catchin bikers without helmets , and u r goin like slowly n all...then the chances are there won't be any traffic cop waitin to catch u...

after the second afterthought: if u r not drivin a bike none of this will ever happen..so relax...

Next afterthought: Don ever stare at cops and watch all the fun.. atleast dial 111 and listen to wat the mechanised horny chick from hutch has 2 say abt my account balance...

Last afterthought: Don ever have sex with a cops wife... especially if his colleague is havin an affair with his BOSS and the BOSS makes stupid jokes about his wife...

Love,peace gawd!!!!!

actually this is the last thought:i saw a sardarji goin without a helmet...wonder wat happened to him...

for ppl interested!!!!

2007-06-22T08:25:00.001-07:00

theres a rock concert at Alliance Francaise Bangalore tomorrow at 6PM..its called ‘Enter the Battle Zone” ’07. Some Indian Bands like URAIAH, NATIVE TONGUE, SLAIN etc are performin... Its to promote road safety n stuff like that...
check out this for more details...
in the same link check the details of french kiss... 3 french chicks comin down to perform pop/rock along with the big wigs of bangalore rock scene - The Raghu Dixit Project... shud be good...
And also in Indigo Nations Showroom @ Indira Nagar, theres a corporate rock restival...inside the showroom...(guess for a rockin shoppin experience!!!!)
no entry fee for the last one... dunno for the rest!!!!

the orange continue button

2007-06-22T03:10:00.000-07:00

so the day i started my blog.... i was as usual wasted and don't remember much of anythin... i'd actually started bloggin some 3 times (that i remember) and some more times i don... so everytime namin the blog is a big pain... and when i was creatin this particular blog (believe me im an expert in this!!!)
this time i decided to take the first thing to catch my attention as my blog name..
and u guessed it rite.. there was an orange continue button on the bottom.... and rest as they say was history!!!!
and history repeats!!!!

thought: if it wasn't orangecontinuebutton, it would have been the orangebloggersign or the greenwordverifier or any other mundane and uninterestin thing!!!!

hopefully this blog with a stupid name will have a longer life than other blogs that i started (and deleted)....

afterthought: whats there in a name... a rose is a rose is a rose is a....

but i think orange continue button in kinda cool... :P

duhhhh....so cute!!!!

2007-06-17T22:02:00.000-07:00

how a borin sunday afternoon changed my life forever.... or any other title which suits this post!!!!

2007-06-17T22:01:00.000-07:00

One Sunday evening, like all the Sunday evenings, I was bored to death. The usual passtime like TV music porn and the bed were boring me to hell… SO I decided get up standup and go out for a walk… After a year filled with zero activity which might make me look less lazy, that decision never ceases to amaze me… being lazy is my thing.. I excel at it…
Anyways I took bath, became really fresh…put on my headfones..and walked away… I reached the first park… lottsa ppl.. with kids..playin eatin chattin doin stupid things… empty dark corners had couples holdin hands (and other things too I guess..couldn really see… it was really dark).. enthusiastic walkers, walkers who’ve nothin else to do (like me) and walkers out for a talk stroll (talkin to their mobile while walkin)…

Anyways I pretended I wasn’t noticing anythin and walked in my own world.. when I got bored of walkin in the first park, I decided to explore… I walked till I reached another park..

This park was bigger with more ppl and kinda better too… So as I was walkin I saw a hot chick (it was dark..but even then I could sense her hotness or heat (as some ppl prefer to say)… ) she looked expectantly at me… I pretended not to notice it..and walked away… I finally reached the end of the park and I started walking through a different way…. And there she was again in path… this time she didn’t even glance at me… I stared at her… the wide eyed open mouth stare???no… a passing non-chalant kinda stare.. like I was puzzled.. (its amazin how much expressions I can bring about 2 convince myself)

The chick obviously didn notice me… and I kept lookin back hopin to see the stuff they show in hindi movies…she lookin back and me lookin back and our eyes meetin… and it was love at second sight…. but that’s the sad part of movies… they always happen only in movies…she wasn’t lookin back..she looked as if she didn even know that I exist in this existential world (wat the heck??)

Anyways I took a U turn and came back to her path and I could see her approaching me.. And at that moment parun called me..and by the time I told him I don mind any beer she had left… The stalker instincts in me came to the fore…I followed her…from a safe distance on a parallel road.. always keepin her on my eyes..and making sure im always on the shadows if by any chance she turns back… She looked agitated frustrated and was talkin on her mobile.. my heart almost stopped when she I saw her moving towards the exit.. but she stopped and I breathed a sigh of relief… then she turned back and sat on an empty bench…

Perfect!!! I went past her and before I could stop myself
Me: U waitin for somebody?
The Hot Chick: …
(I actually didn wait for her to complete the sentence)
I sat down next to her.
Me: Can I sit here?
THC: Do I have choice???(really bored and frustrated and disgusted written boldly on her head…)
Me: Hi…my name is Aslam
THC: So???
Me: I’m thinking of changing it.. Can u help me???
THC: U think u r funny or somethin???
Me: I don think, I know!!!
(Dialog of the century..i could hear soft guitars and pianos goin on in the background as she is impressed and is ready to fall heads over heels in the deep pool of Love)
THC: Dude…get a life..
(She was getting ready to jump over any cliff and commit suicide)
Me: That’s what I’m trying so hard to get….
And then in that defining moment of my history (mestory…mystery??) I got up and left, hoping she won’t ever remember my face and hopin I won’t ever meet her again in my entire life….

Afternote: As u might’ve realized, she was waiting for her boyfriend… and last thing on earth she wanted was a mysterious, dashing and humorous stud tryin to hit on her…
Afterthought: I take out the dashing and mysterious… and stud too…
On a second afterthought: humorous too….

high bikes!!!

2007-06-17T04:33:00.000-07:00

im working (supposedly) in bangalore for almost a year now... lottsa things happended in one year... now i've decided to chronicle all those for the future generations to cherish... when im a billionaire and famous, im sure there wud b tonnes of ppl jus waitin 2 have a glimpse of my blog.... (by then it'd be copyrighted and the infringement would put u back by atleast $20 billion and also help u have a happy n gay time in any one of the high security penitentiaries..im sorry abt that but my publisher is a bastard...)

One year and i wanna say stuff like how much changes it has brot into my life n shit like that... but u guessed right, im not gonna say that...

So yesterday instead of my regular pastime of gettin wasted and passing out wherever i am, i decided to go home... partly becuz my frnds were goin clubbin and his roomie was gettin cosy with his gal frnd... even though the perverse part of me wanted 2 stay there and take active interest in their cuddlin n cooin, my good (or bad) sense prevailed and here i am on the road again...

went 2 adigas and instead of the usual masala dosa and carrot halwa i had just 2 carrot halwas... found a place near a chick from iimb and started gobbling the deliciously sugary and mind numbingly sweet halwas made with carrot milk and lottsa other beautiful things i don't know about... as usual it was heavenly...

my tummy started achin.. (after 14 joints, one chicken biriyani and one beer in a day (i got up at as usual at 730 and started smoking up by 930.. (i luv havin multiple brackets,...its so trippy..(:))..)..)..and it was 9 in the night), i shouldn't be really complainin abt my tummy... i gulped down some water, got out of the restaurent and started crossing the road...

i crossed like half the road and then got on top of the divider. A bike was coming from far and at a great speed... several cars behind that.. with the extra confidence one gets under the influence of highly suspicious substances i got down from the divider...bike was coming really fast. i stared at the bike...the bike put a left indicator showing i can pass and it'l go behind me... but time taken by my mind to assimilate all the information gathered by my senses was (like me) too high... im stil starin at the bike and the biker is really close now... finally this guy decides to take right and i go forward and in the last moment i go back...the bike was too close for comfort and the biker a hatta katta middle aged angry looking individual with a female and 2 (of his???(cant b sure u kno...)) kids behind him.. he swerves and im saved and he doesn fall... i run forward like a wind(even thats a song i've heard somewhere)...in front of screeching cars.. shocked bystanders...all the way till my flat..
i was a nervous wreck... i realized that i didn actually realiz how nervous i was until i'd stopped..and i'd a fleetin fear that the biker was after me...
anyways the runnin helped..i convinced myself that my heartbeat sounded unusually loud becuz of my first 250m dash in my entire life...(cursin myself for not timin it..might've reachd Indian record.. (is there somethin called 250 m dash???))....
that moment i decided...if i cant cross a road when im high, how can i drive(which i generally suck at...split second decisions not my speciality...actually i can always manage, for the worse)...

that was the moment i decided not to buy a bike....

Afterthought: decisions made in an inebriated state are liable to change without notice…